Maybe it Isn't Forgetfulness After All

I hear some version of this constantly.

Someone starts talking, stops halfway through a sentence, and apologizes. "Sorry, I lost my train of thought." A few minutes later it happens again, and this time they sigh. "See? My memory is getting worse."

So I ask what happened in the thirty seconds before they lost track. Almost every time, the answer follows the same pattern. Their phone buzzed. They noticed an email. That reminded them of a bill, which made them wonder if they'd already paid it, which somehow turned into thinking about tomorrow. And suddenly whatever they were saying or thinking was just gone.

That's usually not memory loss. Nothing disappeared. Their brain had simply been interrupted and asked to keep track of too many things at once.

Working memory doesn't work like a filing cabinet, where information gets stored and waits patiently until you need it. It's more like a kitchen counter. Every new thought, every interruption, every half-finished task gets set down on that counter, and there's only so much room.

Eventually something new lands and something else gets knocked off, and it's usually the thing you were just about to say, because that's what you weren't actively holding onto.

Almost nobody blames the interruption. They blame themselves. "I need to concentrate harder." "I need to stop being so scattered." We assume the brain failed, when more often it was just overloaded.

We all have moments like this. Stress, fatigue, constant interruptions, and multitasking all shrink the amount working memory can hold active at once.

For some people, especially those with ADHD, those limits show up more often and it’s harder to get back on track. But the experience itself isn't an ADHD thing or a coaching-client thing. It's just what happens when a brain runs out of counter space.

The goal was never a bigger counter. It's noticing what's already sitting on yours before one more thing gets added to the pile.

For me, the problem is usually walking into a room completely certain why I'm there, and forgetting the moment I cross the doorway. What's yours?

Courtney Gumson is a Licensed Master Social Worker, Registered Counsellor and certified Executive Function coach in Shenzhen. She is the founder of EF TakeOff Coaching, offering mental health support services including counseling and executive functioning coaching. She offers free support sessions every other Tuesday at the Shekou MSCE.

Website: eftakeoffcoachingcg.com or email: [email protected]